Rogue One

I was stunned at how bad this movie was. I’d thought it might be a little weak because it’s fanfiction, but–wow. It had nothing whatsoever to do with Star Wars except for the two scenes with Vader, which were SO MUCH better I was literally swooning over a 45-year old deformed psycho in a suit like a stove. But he was real Star Wars. The new characters were flat as cardboard and you could almost smell the complacent insincerity out of whoever came up with this. Cassian was the best new character, as he was only a bit stale and an action hero in the style of Keanu Reeves, but he wasn’t enough to carry it. The Scarif battle had some moments that almost felt better, but it didn’t save the movie. On its own it was a pretty good recent sci-fi action movie. I would have enjoyed it much more if it hadn’t tried to blend with–and rip off–A New Hope.

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